pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
