put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
