...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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