dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
