The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
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I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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