Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
