Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
