Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
