Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
