so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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