There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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