You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
