nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
