i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
