My room smells like vodka and shame
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
