lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
