Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
