wat bout pragnant strippers??
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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