I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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