She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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