last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
