I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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