piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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