Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Why can't burritos get me drunk
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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