i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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