i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
