Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Where is the hickey?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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