just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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