make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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