Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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