Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
dude. I can hear the air.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
