never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
