No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
