Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
