I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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