your room smells of hookers.
And success
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
