you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
