Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
