it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
40s are totally the cure
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
