Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
worst night to have a conscience
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
