actually, I'm a sock model
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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