Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Acid is not a monday night drug
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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