Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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