I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
