My cat gives me a boner
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
