last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
