So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
