I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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