for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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