im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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