Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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