can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
