i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
