Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Someone came in the potted fern
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
