Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
