in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
