she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
