Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
