she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
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She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
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