I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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