..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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